1 00:00:04,138 --> 00:00:06,005 This is pretty hefty punishment 2 00:00:06,007 --> 00:00:08,207 for breaking one measly chimney. 3 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,677 Hey, ALF. Watch this. 4 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,215 Interesting. 5 00:00:16,217 --> 00:00:17,983 (Brian) 'It's a dog.' 6 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:21,253 I could see that, but it wrecked your stick trick. 7 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,989 What was supposed to happen? 8 00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,091 That was it. That's how you play fetch. 9 00:00:28,129 --> 00:00:29,862 Fascinating game. 10 00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,797 Right up there with watching golf. 11 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:34,633 You wanna throw one? 12 00:00:34,635 --> 00:00:36,368 Alright. What harm could it do? 13 00:00:43,210 --> 00:00:44,410 [glass shattering] 14 00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:46,145 [gasps] 15 00:00:50,184 --> 00:00:52,051 - Hi. - Hi. 16 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,822 Uh, what are the chances that the crash I just heard 17 00:00:56,824 --> 00:00:59,758 was the Ochmoneks breaking their own window? 18 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,561 Slim and none. And slim is out of town. 19 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,398 Where did this dog come from? 20 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,401 She followed me home from school. 21 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,270 (Trevor) 'Hey, Tanner!' 22 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:16,341 ALF, you-you better hide whilst I, once again, take the blame 23 00:01:16,343 --> 00:01:17,910 for something you did. 24 00:01:17,912 --> 00:01:20,345 Thanks, Willie. You're a prince. 25 00:01:22,083 --> 00:01:23,415 I'm a king. 26 00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:27,086 Good afternoon, guys. 27 00:01:27,088 --> 00:01:28,787 Uh, does this look familiar to anyone? 28 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,390 Oh, gee, I'm-I'm sorry, Trevor. 29 00:01:31,392 --> 00:01:33,225 B-Brian and I were.. 30 00:01:33,227 --> 00:01:35,928 ...uh, we were just, sort of...play.. 31 00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:37,796 - It's twenty dollars, right? - Eighty. 32 00:01:39,200 --> 00:01:41,767 Eighty dollars? 33 00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:44,803 Yeah, I'm putting in Plexiglas this time. 34 00:01:44,805 --> 00:01:47,139 It'll be cheaper for you in the long run. 35 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:50,209 - Good planning. - Thanks. 36 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:52,211 - 'Well, I'll see ya.' - 'So long, Trevor.' 37 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:58,217 - Uh, she sure is a pretty dog. - Can we keep her? 38 00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,619 Yeah, Willie. Can we, huh? 39 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,455 No. I-I-I don't know. 40 00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:06,658 I-I'm sure she's got an owner somewhere. 41 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,162 Can't we just keep her until we find the owner? 42 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:13,799 Well, I-I guess so, as long, as long as it's okay with your mom. 43 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,435 Oh, goody, goody, goody, goody, goody! 44 00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:18,470 I didn't know you liked dogs. 45 00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,405 What's not to like? 46 00:02:20,407 --> 00:02:24,176 They are loyal, obedient. They hate cats. 47 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,312 [growling] 48 00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,015 And those who eat them. 49 00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,585 Down, boy. Down. 50 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,490 [theme music] 51 00:02:48,769 --> 00:02:50,402 [no audio] 52 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:56,909 [no audio] 53 00:03:02,016 --> 00:03:03,549 [no audio] 54 00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,523 [no audio] 55 00:03:21,569 --> 00:03:23,402 [no audio] 56 00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,005 Hi, there. 57 00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,341 Gordon Shumway. Nice to meet you. 58 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,743 Interested in a new Buick? 59 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:05,978 Nice try. 60 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:11,383 Wait a minute. One of these steaks is missing. 61 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,585 - ALF! - No, no. I didn't. Honest. 62 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:16,221 I looked, but I didn't touch. 63 00:04:16,223 --> 00:04:18,790 Well, you did so touch! 64 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:22,194 Alright, I touched, but I didn't eat. 65 00:04:22,196 --> 00:04:23,962 And I'm supposed to believe one of these steaks 66 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,431 just got up and walked away on it's own? 67 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,501 I've seen stranger. 68 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:33,405 That's it, ALF. No dinner for you tonight. 69 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:37,309 But I'm starved! I've been fasting since lunch. 70 00:04:38,979 --> 00:04:41,513 Well, I did eat that pumpkin. 71 00:04:43,984 --> 00:04:45,817 Anyone lose a steak? 72 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:47,919 [coughing] 73 00:04:47,921 --> 00:04:51,056 O-o-okay, ALF. I'm sorry I accused you. 74 00:04:51,892 --> 00:04:54,393 Apology accepted. 75 00:04:54,395 --> 00:04:58,030 I'd hate to be in your paws, you cattle rustler! 76 00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:02,134 Bad dog! 77 00:05:02,136 --> 00:05:05,904 Oh, I didn't mean it. 78 00:05:05,906 --> 00:05:07,673 No, she didn't mean it. 79 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:08,740 - Oh. - Here. 80 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,509 You're a good dog, aren't you? 81 00:05:10,511 --> 00:05:11,777 Yes, you are. 82 00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:14,413 Come on, pup. Come on. 83 00:05:14,415 --> 00:05:16,682 [imitating Lynn] You're a good dog. Yes, you are. 84 00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:20,686 This is an outrage! 85 00:05:20,688 --> 00:05:23,922 That dog should be flogged on the quarterdeck. 86 00:05:23,924 --> 00:05:26,425 Whatever that means. 87 00:05:26,427 --> 00:05:29,528 Oh, ALF, she's just a dog. She doesn't know any better. 88 00:05:29,530 --> 00:05:32,331 Ignorance is no excuse. 89 00:05:32,333 --> 00:05:35,200 Ignorance is your excuse all the time. 90 00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:39,738 I don't know what you're talking about. 91 00:05:42,810 --> 00:05:44,443 Okay, watch this. 92 00:05:44,445 --> 00:05:45,911 Speak. 93 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:49,748 [laughing] 94 00:05:51,352 --> 00:05:54,786 Okay. Okay. Sit. 95 00:05:54,788 --> 00:05:56,321 Oh. 96 00:05:56,323 --> 00:05:57,856 That is so cute! 97 00:05:57,858 --> 00:06:00,525 Talk about stupid pet tricks. 98 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,861 Letterman would have a field day with this one. 99 00:06:05,799 --> 00:06:09,501 Well, I put up a bunch of those dumb posters. 100 00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,204 I still hope nobody claims Alfina. 101 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:14,039 - Alfina? - Oh! 102 00:06:14,041 --> 00:06:16,608 Don't you just hate that name? 103 00:06:17,644 --> 00:06:19,311 What a good girl! 104 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,848 Canine kiss up. 105 00:06:22,850 --> 00:06:25,384 I still think we should offer a reward 106 00:06:25,386 --> 00:06:28,253 to anyone who claims that dog. 107 00:06:28,255 --> 00:06:31,223 You don't offer a reward when you find a dog. 108 00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,892 You offer a reward when you lose a dog. 109 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:37,195 Okay, I'll give you five bucks to lose Alfina. 110 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,064 - ALF! - Kidding! 111 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,732 I'm a funny alien. 112 00:06:40,734 --> 00:06:43,201 [sarcastic laugh] 113 00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,603 [doorbell dings] 114 00:06:45,439 --> 00:06:47,506 I know the routine. 115 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,508 Exit stage right. 116 00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,752 - Where is he? - Where's who? 117 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,788 My dog. That's who. 118 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,723 You found him, didn't you? 119 00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:06,024 Well, yes, we did. 120 00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,693 I mean, that is to say we found a dog. 121 00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,797 He's mine. Where is he? 122 00:07:13,066 --> 00:07:16,535 It's not a he. She's a she. 123 00:07:16,537 --> 00:07:19,404 I knew that. Is that her? 124 00:07:19,406 --> 00:07:23,074 - Don't you recognize her? - Of course, I do. 125 00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:24,476 Come here, dog! 126 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,677 [growling] 127 00:07:28,148 --> 00:07:31,483 She doesn't seem to be responding to you. 128 00:07:31,485 --> 00:07:34,119 We had a fight! She'll get over it. 129 00:07:35,823 --> 00:07:38,056 Uh, do you suppose 130 00:07:38,058 --> 00:07:41,393 and, uh, mind you, this is just a thought.. 131 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:45,263 ...that you might be mistaken about this being your dog? 132 00:07:45,265 --> 00:07:47,399 I lost a dog. You found a dog. 133 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,168 Can we do business or not? 134 00:07:51,271 --> 00:07:52,804 I think not. 135 00:07:57,578 --> 00:08:00,011 Here's my address and telephone number 136 00:08:00,013 --> 00:08:01,646 in case you change your mind. 137 00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:02,914 Okay. 138 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:07,352 Have a nice day! 139 00:08:13,260 --> 00:08:15,126 I'm glad you're not her dog. 140 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:16,428 Yeah. Me too. 141 00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,331 Could I take Alfina for a walk? 142 00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,532 Sure, honey. 143 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,367 Watchout for that dragon lady. 144 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,803 Come on, Alfina. 145 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:27,939 Isn't that a picture. A boy and his dog. 146 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,610 And the alien he left behind. 147 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:33,845 [dramatic music] 148 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:37,782 [ALF whining] 149 00:08:40,387 --> 00:08:43,388 [whining] 150 00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,393 [whining] 151 00:08:50,964 --> 00:08:52,998 ALF.. 152 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,599 ...why did you do that? 153 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,837 Well, I could have licked your hand 154 00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,139 but I didn't think either of us would enjoy that. 155 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:05,210 Well, you're right. I much prefer a blow to the head. 156 00:09:06,079 --> 00:09:07,646 As you wish, master. 157 00:09:11,485 --> 00:09:12,484 Thank you. Thank you. 158 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,886 Thank you. 159 00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,022 I'll read that when I get up.. 160 00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,156 ...in three hours. 161 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,760 What are you two doing? 162 00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,428 ALF thinks he's a dog. 163 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:26,231 Apparently, dogs can't tell time. 164 00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:30,035 Actually, we can, but we have so few appointments 165 00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,770 why bother? 166 00:09:33,607 --> 00:09:36,341 ALF, you're not a dog. 167 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:38,910 Well, I wish I were a dog. 168 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:43,214 Dogs get treated better than aliens around here. 169 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:49,020 That's because dogs behave better than aliens around here. 170 00:09:50,123 --> 00:09:52,290 I'll change. You'll see. 171 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:56,761 I'll-I'll heal. I'll fetch. I'll play dead. 172 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:59,197 Could we discuss this in the morning? 173 00:09:59,199 --> 00:10:01,566 But I am great at playing dead. 174 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:05,737 I was Camille in my high school play. 175 00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:08,873 I feel weak. 176 00:10:10,043 --> 00:10:13,011 [coughs] 177 00:10:26,259 --> 00:10:28,860 Is nothing sacred? Out of my bed! 178 00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:34,466 You come in here, stick your big snout into everything. 179 00:10:34,468 --> 00:10:37,068 Take over the house, eat all the food. 180 00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,537 That's my job. 181 00:10:42,275 --> 00:10:44,342 How would you feel about relocating? 182 00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,078 [growls] 183 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:49,047 I'll take that as a yes. 184 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,759 - Tomatoes? - Uh, over here. 185 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:03,495 Thank you. Oregano? 186 00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,430 - Where you left it. - Thank you. 187 00:11:05,432 --> 00:11:08,266 - Oh. Whipped cream? - Coming at you. 188 00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,602 [yawns] 189 00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:11,936 Morning! 190 00:11:11,938 --> 00:11:14,639 - Oh, morning, ALF. - I smell food. 191 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:16,041 And lots of it. 192 00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,509 What's cooking? 193 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:20,779 Oh, your all-time favorite Sunday breakfast. 194 00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,414 Cats Benedict? 195 00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:27,385 No. French toast, Jell-O and spaghetti. 196 00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:30,689 [sniffs] 197 00:11:30,691 --> 00:11:34,459 Ah, Christmas came early this year. 198 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:38,029 Well, actually, we-we felt like we kinda owed you an apology. 199 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:40,699 Well, I agree. What for? 200 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,300 Well, for neglecting you 201 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:45,370 and spending all our time with Alfina. 202 00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:47,706 Speaking of Alfina, where is she? 203 00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:49,074 Yeah, you know, she always comes 204 00:11:49,076 --> 00:11:50,542 running when there's food cooking. 205 00:11:50,544 --> 00:11:52,410 Yeah. ALF, you haven't seen her, have you? 206 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,548 Check, please. 207 00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,752 What have you done? 208 00:12:00,754 --> 00:12:04,789 Oh, sure. Just assume that I gave Alfina away. 209 00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:08,727 You gave away Alfina? 210 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,829 [doorbell dings] 211 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:12,464 Saved by the bell. 212 00:12:13,767 --> 00:12:15,834 You stay right where you are, mister. 213 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:22,407 This doesn't have the feel of your typical happy ending. 214 00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,212 Hi, can I help you? 215 00:12:27,214 --> 00:12:28,913 I came to get my dog. 216 00:12:31,017 --> 00:12:32,684 Oh, okay, come on in. 217 00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:36,921 This is her. This is my dog, Francesca. 218 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:39,958 Can I have her back, please? 219 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,060 - Sure. - Oh, uh, no, wait. 220 00:12:42,062 --> 00:12:43,962 Um, before we give her to you 221 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,131 we have to make sure she is your dog. 222 00:12:46,133 --> 00:12:48,133 Oh, she's my dog, alright. 223 00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:52,303 She's brown and white and shaggy, and she does tricks. 224 00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:55,573 - What kind of tricks? - The wrong tricks. 225 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:57,575 Like, when I tell her to sit up and beg 226 00:12:57,577 --> 00:12:59,177 she rolls over and plays dead. 227 00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:01,546 That's her, alright. 228 00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:07,185 My dad taught her that. He has a weird sense of humor. 229 00:13:08,922 --> 00:13:11,089 I can't find Alfina anywhere. 230 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,791 Who's Alfina? 231 00:13:12,793 --> 00:13:15,927 Oh, we have a little problem. 232 00:13:15,929 --> 00:13:18,263 - Uh.. - Hannah. 233 00:13:18,265 --> 00:13:20,165 Hannah. 234 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,833 I'm Mr. Tanner. 235 00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,302 - This is my wife, Mrs. Tanner. - Hello. 236 00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,505 And these are the Tanner siblings, Brian, Lynn. 237 00:13:27,507 --> 00:13:28,973 Hi. 238 00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:32,510 Um, Hannah is here to pick up her dog. 239 00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,245 Uh-oh. 240 00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,748 Where is she? 241 00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,451 Actually, we don't know where she is 242 00:13:40,453 --> 00:13:42,120 just at the moment. 243 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:45,657 Oh, no. I have to sit down. 244 00:13:45,659 --> 00:13:47,192 Oh, please. 245 00:13:48,995 --> 00:13:53,031 You know, we did find your dog. I mean, Brian found your dog. 246 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:57,535 It's just that she seems to have...wandered off. 247 00:13:57,537 --> 00:14:00,171 We just moved to this neighborhood 248 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:02,974 And Francesca is the only friend I have here. 249 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:05,643 Oh, Hannah. No, don't cry. 250 00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,980 We'll help you find your dog. 251 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,815 And if we can't.. 252 00:14:10,817 --> 00:14:13,117 ...I can think of a suitable replacement. 253 00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:18,990 ALF. 254 00:14:18,992 --> 00:14:20,391 Hold on, Willie. 255 00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:22,393 I'm trying to find the right quotation 256 00:14:22,395 --> 00:14:24,829 to express my regret. 257 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:27,065 This one seems apropos. 258 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,000 "To err is human." 259 00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:32,837 You got rid of that dog, didn't you? 260 00:14:32,839 --> 00:14:35,573 You're right. The buck stops here. 261 00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:38,610 "Admiral John Poindexter, 1987." 262 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:45,516 Where is the dog, ALF? 263 00:14:45,518 --> 00:14:47,719 I thought Brian was getting too attached 264 00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:49,420 to the little mutt. 265 00:14:49,422 --> 00:14:52,423 That's not for you to decide. I'm in charge here. 266 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:56,394 Oh, uh, "General Alexander Haig, 1981." 267 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:02,333 ALF, what have you done with the dog? 268 00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:04,535 Hey, hey, don't worry. 269 00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:07,772 I called that nice lady who said she was the owner. 270 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,941 She picked Alfina up last night. 271 00:15:10,610 --> 00:15:12,176 Oh, ALF. 272 00:15:12,178 --> 00:15:14,545 It was obvious to anyone 273 00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:18,883 that woman never laid eyes on Alfina in her life! 274 00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:22,186 Well, she sure had me fooled! 275 00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:24,255 "Gary Hart, 1987." 276 00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:27,926 [instrumental music] 277 00:15:32,232 --> 00:15:33,264 [knock on door] 278 00:15:33,266 --> 00:15:34,299 [growls] 279 00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,134 Shut up, you mutt. 280 00:15:36,136 --> 00:15:38,369 [knocking continues] 281 00:15:38,371 --> 00:15:40,538 I'm coming! I'm coming. 282 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,973 Keep your pants on. 283 00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:48,246 Oh, it's you. 284 00:15:48,248 --> 00:15:50,548 Oh, I-I-I'm sorry, Mrs. Buttonwood 285 00:15:50,550 --> 00:15:52,450 I-I hope I'm not disturbing you. 286 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:56,454 But it didn't bother you when you phoned at 4:00 this morning 287 00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:59,724 Oh, that-that I-I-I am sorry. 288 00:15:59,726 --> 00:16:02,460 Forget it. It gave me a chance to shave my legs. 289 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,497 Step inside, Tanner. 290 00:16:06,499 --> 00:16:08,132 You're letting all the flies out. 291 00:16:09,836 --> 00:16:11,235 (Willie) 'Hey-hey, hey.' 292 00:16:11,905 --> 00:16:13,805 Alfina. 293 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:16,841 Hey, how you doing, girl? 294 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:19,577 You know, Mrs. Buttonwood, I-I-I'd really 295 00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:21,646 I'd really like to have her back. 296 00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,681 I'd like to be Christie Brinkley. 297 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:26,017 You learn to live with it. 298 00:16:26,019 --> 00:16:29,354 But the dog's real owner came by today 299 00:16:29,356 --> 00:16:33,324 and she, she would love to have her back. 300 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:35,326 She can have her back. 301 00:16:35,328 --> 00:16:37,495 - Great. - For 500 bucks. 302 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:42,834 - Five hundred? - Bucks! 303 00:16:42,836 --> 00:16:44,535 You have a hearing problem? 304 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:51,876 But the dog's real owner is-is a little girl. 305 00:16:51,878 --> 00:16:55,480 And-and she misses her so much. 306 00:16:55,482 --> 00:16:58,449 You know, she was crying in my living room. 307 00:16:59,786 --> 00:17:01,886 Aw. Breaks your heart, doesn't it? 308 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,690 Five hundred bucks! 309 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:08,159 - Will you take a check? - Cash! 310 00:17:08,161 --> 00:17:09,560 Cash. 311 00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:10,862 You can't be too careful. 312 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,864 There's a lot of slime out there. 313 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:14,932 I hear you. 314 00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:20,238 You know, I don't have $500 cash on me. 315 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:21,572 [knocking on door] 316 00:17:21,574 --> 00:17:23,341 (male 'Ethel! Open up!' 317 00:17:23,343 --> 00:17:25,877 My ex-boyfriend, that is, if he ain't short of a dollar 318 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:27,578 and jealous to the bone. 319 00:17:30,550 --> 00:17:32,850 Just a minute, honey. 320 00:17:32,852 --> 00:17:35,153 I'm not dressed yet. 321 00:17:35,155 --> 00:17:38,389 (male 'Ethel! You got a man in there?' 322 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:40,691 Maybe there is! 323 00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:44,762 You better get out of here while your face is still in the front. 324 00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:45,897 But I.. 325 00:17:45,899 --> 00:17:47,865 I haven't done anything. 326 00:17:47,867 --> 00:17:49,867 I'll give you a rain check. 327 00:17:49,869 --> 00:17:51,536 [knocking continues] 328 00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:53,938 Climb out that window. 329 00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:55,773 Oh, that's silly! 330 00:17:55,775 --> 00:17:58,242 [pounding on door] 331 00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:01,779 - Is there a backdoor? - It's all boarded up. 332 00:18:01,781 --> 00:18:04,782 Vince threw the mailman through it last week. 333 00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,317 [knocking on door] 334 00:18:09,956 --> 00:18:11,923 Oh, suddenly, that looks like quite a drop! 335 00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,459 - Don't be a wuss. - Stop! 336 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:15,860 [thud] 337 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:17,662 [instrumental music] 338 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,036 Why did you give Alfina to that mean lady, ALF? 339 00:18:25,038 --> 00:18:28,072 Look, B, like we said on Melmac 340 00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:31,109 "If you love something set it free. 341 00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:33,711 "If it comes back to you it is yours. 342 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:38,216 If it gets run over by a car you don't want it." 343 00:18:38,218 --> 00:18:40,451 Thanks a lot, ALF. 344 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,053 Sorry. 345 00:18:42,055 --> 00:18:44,889 Hey, hey, let's go shoot some hoops. 346 00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:46,624 I'll get the peashooter 347 00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,793 you see if the hoops are in their backyard. 348 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,630 I'm not playing with you anymore, ever! 349 00:18:53,666 --> 00:18:55,199 [door opens] 350 00:18:56,836 --> 00:18:59,103 Dad, where's Alfina? 351 00:18:59,105 --> 00:19:01,139 I'm, I'm sorry, Brian. 352 00:19:02,142 --> 00:19:04,242 I couldn't get her back. 353 00:19:04,244 --> 00:19:06,010 Why not? 354 00:19:06,012 --> 00:19:09,747 Well, apparently, Ms. Buttonwood only wanted the dog 355 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:13,885 so she could get $500 from the real owner. 356 00:19:15,622 --> 00:19:17,722 It's all your fault, ALF! 357 00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:23,761 He's right. I got us into this. 358 00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,129 I'll get us out. 359 00:19:25,131 --> 00:19:27,498 Willie, can I borrow $500? 360 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,901 I'll give it back to you next payday. 361 00:19:30,937 --> 00:19:33,504 You don't have a job, ALF. 362 00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,507 I meant your next payday. 363 00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,511 You'll stay out of this. 364 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,580 You're in enough hot water! 365 00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,018 So what's a little more? 366 00:19:51,824 --> 00:19:54,091 Hey, mutt, move it or lose it. 367 00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:00,965 [telephone ringing] 368 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:05,803 Never fails. 369 00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:09,240 Sit down to a nice home-cooked meal and the phone rings. 370 00:20:12,545 --> 00:20:14,378 I'm coming! I'm coming! 371 00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:17,381 [ringing continues] 372 00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:24,522 [whispers] Psst! Psst! Alfina. 373 00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:27,892 Alfina. It's me, ALF. 374 00:20:27,894 --> 00:20:29,894 I've come to rescue you. 375 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,596 (Ethel) 'Hey, dog.' 376 00:20:31,598 --> 00:20:34,165 'You touch that TV dinner, you're cheese spread.' 377 00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:39,904 Uh, we could throw water on her and watch her melt 378 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:41,672 but we're short on time. 379 00:20:43,042 --> 00:20:44,609 [knocking on door] 380 00:20:44,611 --> 00:20:46,077 Oh, great. 381 00:20:48,381 --> 00:20:50,548 I need a doorman. 382 00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,916 [knocking continues] 383 00:20:51,918 --> 00:20:53,818 Hold your horses! 384 00:20:56,222 --> 00:20:57,455 Hello, sweetheart. 385 00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:58,789 Vince, I told you never to show 386 00:20:58,791 --> 00:21:01,125 your jealous puss around here again. 387 00:21:01,127 --> 00:21:03,361 Well, that's what I've come to tell you. 388 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,965 I'm not jealous anymore, twinkle toes. 389 00:21:07,967 --> 00:21:11,969 I'm in group therapy with a bunch of Italian guys. 390 00:21:11,971 --> 00:21:14,939 You did all that just for me, stud-muffin? 391 00:21:15,942 --> 00:21:17,708 Stud-muffin? 392 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:21,746 But you only call me that when you wanna.. Oh-oh! 393 00:21:21,748 --> 00:21:24,015 Shut up, and go get the mood music. 394 00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,853 (Vince) 'The-the "LP" or the "45?"' 395 00:21:29,922 --> 00:21:31,422 "The LP." 396 00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:32,723 Alright! 397 00:21:32,725 --> 00:21:34,458 [laughing] 398 00:21:38,831 --> 00:21:40,831 [dramatic music] 399 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,104 Come on, pooch. 400 00:21:47,106 --> 00:21:49,173 We don't wanna stick around for this. 401 00:21:52,812 --> 00:21:53,844 [Ethel laughing] 402 00:21:53,846 --> 00:21:54,979 [Vince laughing] 403 00:21:57,150 --> 00:22:00,851 No. Some things are best left to the imagination. 404 00:22:02,021 --> 00:22:04,021 Ewweee! 405 00:22:11,998 --> 00:22:13,030 [instrumental music] 406 00:22:15,601 --> 00:22:19,437 One last time. Okay, Francesca, speak. 407 00:22:22,475 --> 00:22:23,708 [all cheering] 408 00:22:24,977 --> 00:22:28,045 The dog is phenomenal. 409 00:22:28,047 --> 00:22:30,381 I should tell my parents I found her. 410 00:22:30,383 --> 00:22:32,583 Wave buh-bye, Francesca. 411 00:22:37,557 --> 00:22:39,290 Phenomenal. 412 00:22:39,292 --> 00:22:40,558 Goodbye, Hanna. 413 00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,460 Goodbye, Francesca. 414 00:22:42,462 --> 00:22:44,628 Hey, you can come play with us if you want to. 415 00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:46,697 - Can I? - Oh, sure, honey. Have fun. 416 00:22:46,699 --> 00:22:51,469 Let's go. 417 00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:55,373 Oh, they look kinda look cute together, don't they? 418 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,810 I can't help it, I'm a mother. 419 00:23:01,647 --> 00:23:03,314 She should wear flats. 420 00:23:05,418 --> 00:23:08,519 You know, I am kinda proud of Brian though. 421 00:23:08,521 --> 00:23:11,989 The way he was able to give up that dog without any fuss. 422 00:23:11,991 --> 00:23:13,023 Yeah. 423 00:23:13,025 --> 00:23:15,493 What about yours truly? 424 00:23:15,495 --> 00:23:17,328 What about him? 425 00:23:17,330 --> 00:23:20,731 Valiantly risking my life behind enemy lines 426 00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:25,936 to reunite a girl and her dog where others had failed before? 427 00:23:25,938 --> 00:23:27,905 Notably you, Wilheim. 428 00:23:29,876 --> 00:23:32,276 We get the point, ALFheim. 429 00:23:32,278 --> 00:23:33,711 Yes, yes. 430 00:23:33,713 --> 00:23:35,546 This time.. 431 00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:38,182 ...you did manage to do the right thing. 432 00:23:40,586 --> 00:23:41,986 [whimpers] 433 00:23:43,356 --> 00:23:44,989 [theme music] 434 00:24:10,650 --> 00:24:12,049 [ALF screaming]